So, the person on the left in the picture above is the golden child, my sister Dara. A very interesting person to say the least! She has been a total train wreck her whole life. Her first job was as a stripper in Los Angeles. As soon as she started working there things really started going down the toilet. She had access to drugs that were sold right there on the premises as well as a lot of great role models to show her the way. 

   But what she really loved was the attention from the men that came into the club and from the women working at the club. It was at the club where she decided she was bisexual. She had a new boyfriend every week and almost as many girlfriends. And there were the sugar daddies that would buy her just about anything trying to hook up with her. but those men were for being used, not friendship or relationships.

   Working at the club and all the attention she was getting from men it didn't take her long to figure out that may would pay her for her company. That was a nice way of putting it. It was straight up prostitution and her client list just kept growing and growing with my mother cheering her on. Afterall she was making money and that is what my mother loves the most.

   My sister has never had a real job. Everything in her life revolves around the sex industry in way or another. My mother has set her up with businesses which my sister destroyed in under a year. One really stands out, on the Hermosa Beach pier mom set her up with a nail and facial salon. Needless to say, it failed. My sister was doing so much meth back then that there was really no hope of it being a success. And that business had absolutely nothing to do with sex or the sex industry. 

   The picture to the left is my sister during the salon days. And if memory serves me correctly Dara took this selfie in that salon. There is clearly no such thing as tough love for the golden child. I have to keep reminding myself that my sister can be controlled by my mother. And God knows she gives my mom plenty of admiration and worship. It's actually a pretty sad situation because my sister is so blinded by my mother that she can't see the fire through the smoke. And there is absolutely no hope of my sister ever being able to make it on her own.

   My mom is getting up in her years and I can't help but wonder what will become of my sister when mom passes away. My guess is everything she has, my mother helped her get will be gone inside of a year and Dara is getting a little too old to be prostituting herself. 

   Maybe her newest line of work, bleaching stripper's rectums will be able to carry her through but, for some reason I highly doubt it. I really doubt my sister will be able to function at all without her mommy.

   So, my sister has become my mother's twin. She acts just like her and even does my mother's dirty work. My mom sits and points and her minions do all the dirty work, attack on demand and anything else she wants. I've asked her several time how it feels to have to pay people, buy their loyalty. I even told mom that if you want to know the truth about yourself cut off the money to your minions and watch how fast you end up all alone.

   To be completely honest I think I was actually better off being the family scapegoat. At least I learned how to fend for myself and defend myself. I does not mean that the stuff they do doesn't hurt, it hurts like Hell! But I won't just fall to pieces when my mother passes. I think I'm going to feel confused, do I celebrate, or do I mourn? What I do know is that I'm strong and I will keep going even though my family tried everything they could to get me to eat a bullet! And that is exactly what they do. Try to break you to the point where you think you would be better off dead.

   My mother and sister know how much the want for family means to me. It's my weakness in my mother's eyes and God knows she has targeted that spot for years and years. They just never stop. Every time I start to get back on my feet, they are there to kick the ladder out from under me. They actually wait until they hear my life is getting better and they attack again. Is there anything in the world sicker than narcissistic people? So, I think it's time to tell how my brother died because my mother willed it that way. There will be more about my sister later.

   The pretty young lady top right is my niece, Brooke. A very beautiful, smart, strong and outspoken young lady. But when it's all said and done, I love her and miss her very much!! She gave me Hell once when she thought I had drunk too much on the 4th of July. And there was one time when I had just gotten off work, covered in fiberglass insulation and my mother decided I had to take Brooke to the stables because she was busy drinking wine. I complained about my mother on the way there and then wouldn't stay and watch Brooke ride so everything I said got repeated to my mother. It was inevitable that I was going to get caught up because I was caught in the middle between mom and Mark and Brooke. They constantly wanted to know what Brooke was confiding to me and God forbid I didn't play along. I didn't play along and told mom and Mark that Brooke was talking to me, not you. That I didn't appreciate being the monkey in the middle. There was a definite shift in the wind then. When I get back to my mother, I'll tell you why I was permitted to come to Nevada and stay at my mother's house. I'm not angry at Brooke and I do miss her, and I hope she will be ok! She has had to deal with a lot, and I know it was hard on her. A drug dealing father. A prostitute mother and then living with two extreme narcissists, mom and Mark. All I can do is pray for her. But she does stay neutral in the family drama, and I am grateful for that!! It took a little while to figure out my mother's motives back then.